Fianna Kelly Versus the Jeebees: A Collection of Steampunk Stories Read online

  Fianna Kelly

  Versus the Jeebees

  A collection of

  steampunk stories

  By

  Harry Dodgson

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  The views and opinions expressed in this book by the characters are solely their own and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the author or any actual person, living or dead. The author does not make any representation of the accuracy of any such views and opinions. Neither children nor adults should attempt to duplicate any feat performed by the characters in this book.

  Remember these rules when handling firearms:

  1. Always keep the gun pointed in a safe direction.

  2. Always keep your finger off the trigger until ready to shoot.

  3. Always keep the gun unloaded until ready to use.

  Story and characters Copyright © 2015 by Harry Dodgson

  Cover Illustration Copyright © 2015 by Matt Pearson

  Cover design by Harry Dodgson and Matt Pearson

  Book design and production by Harry Dodgson

  Editing by Harry Dodgson

  Advance proofreads by Charlie Lowther and Matt Pearson

  Initial research into period firearms by Rob Reed

  Author photograph by Christa Larson-Bazzi

  All Rights Reserved

  Table of Contents

  Background

  ONE

  • June 6

  • June 7

  • June 8

  • June 9

  • June 10

  • June 11

  TWO

  • September 1

  • September 2

  THREE

  • April 27

  • April 28

  • April 29

  • April 30

  • May 1

  • May 2

  • May 3

  • May 4

  • May 5

  • May 11

  • May 12

  FOUR

  • July 19

  • July 20

  • July 21

  • July 22

  • July 23

  FIVE

  • February 10

  • February 11

  • February 12

  • February 13

  • February 14

  • February 15

  • February 16

  • February 17

  • Epilogue

  About the Author

  Quotes

  Background

  These stories are set during the early 1880's. The location is Ireland and the neighbouring countries. I have rejected the poverty, hunger, and disease of that period to create a more pleasant tale.

  This was the time when steam engines were the dominant power sources. Lighter-than-air vehicles and locomotives were the fashionable way to travel and had regular scheduled routes. For example, the Dublin to London airship went East on even days and West on odd ones with no ships flying on Sundays. Bicycles and horse-drawn carriages were popular for short trips. The automobile and internal combustion engine were playthings and deemed as impractical.

  Inventors were discovering the laws of science and creating new devices daily to improve the lives of their fellow man. Electricity was still new and anything was considered possible given enough of it.

  The countries of Europe and their boundaries were stable with the combat exported to Africa and Asia. The United States was a fledgling country and insignificant at this time.

  Women were beginning to see the life they could have outside of the home. This brings us to the heroine of our tale; an Irish woman in her twenties on a journey to prove her worth for the world to see.

  ONE

  The way to adventure.

  • June 6

  This was my first adventure. Like most affairs, it wasn't planned as one. On the contrary, I planned to have an uneventful few days in transit culminating with a friendly shooting competition. It was a wonderful spring day; plenty of sunshine, several fluffy clouds, and a gentle breeze.

  My father and I were walking down the streets of Dublin to the docks. This city was not our home, just a waypoint on my journey to London. I was wearing a shoe-length dress under my corset. My mother wanted me to dress like a respectable young English woman. I managed to avoid a bustle but my hair was put up and hidden inside my summer bonnet. She said that men had unfair prejudices based on how a woman dressed, but I much preferred my shorter pleated skirts and letting my hair down to blow in the wind.

  This wasn't my first time in a big city. That did not mean I couldn't act like it was. I stopped whenever I saw something of interest. Some times it was a trinket in a shoppe window. Other times it was someone who stood out in the crowd. Many times it was just to slow our progress.

  I spun around in front of my father so we were face to face. Actually it was more face to chest as my father was taller than me by more than a head. I am a little over five feet tall and less than three feet around which is not bad for a grown woman.

  I said, "Why must I go by boat and carriage? My friends will be going by airship the day after tomorrow and will still arrive before me."

  "Which of your many friends would those be?"

  "Those would be Darina, Melissa, Sheela, and Bevin."

  "They are nice young women whose parents are too lenient in my opinion."

  "Their parents may think the same of you for allowing me to travel without an escort."

  My parents were wonderful. My father was a well-built man who had worked out in the fields all his life. My mother did her work in the house and flower garden. Together, they raised four children. My father loved us and would do almost anything for us; except allow us to ride in airships. He carried my portmanteau, but I would not allow him to carry my rifle. I had that in its case on a sling over my shoulder. My mother had tried to keep it from ruining the look she wanted for her eldest daughter travelling abroad; and failed.

  He said, "We have had this discussion before and my reasons have not changed. You will arrive in plenty of time for the tournament. I even thought of a new reason just now. With the money you are saving you can visit the shoppes of London and buy some of those pretty bracelets that you are so fond of looking at."

  "That is not a good reason! When I win I will have plenty to spend on myself as well as my adoring parents, brothers, and sister."

  "Just because you are the best here, does not mean you will be the best in it. You may not become wealthy and respected this weekend. However, it is possible you will come home with bracelets from your wrists to your elbows."

  I stood on my toes and gave him a kiss on his cheek. He reluctantly handed my suitcase to me and I boarded the waiting boat. If he wanted me to travel this way, I would make the most of it. Sometimes pleasing my parents could be worth the effort in the long run. I took off my bonnet, let my hair down, and waved to him. Sometimes it was worth it to please myself too.

  The captain introduced himself and his crew; both of his sons. The boys couldn't have been over ten years old. My father said they were cousins of cousins or something like that so I had nothing to worry about. I wondered who was first to get into the life boats; women or children. I was fairly certain that it was passengers before crew.

  It was the longest four hours of my life. I couldn't find a comfortable place to sit so I stood at the back
of the boat. I was the only passenger on an old, rotting, steam-powered, dirty, noisy, stinking boat. I kept trying to cheer myself up by telling myself it could only get better. Then I would discover something else wrong to ruin my mood; like that rat.

  I finally saw the coast of England and the boat kept going. I was worried that the Captain would never find a port. Did he know that any place with dirt would be fine by me? Another eternity passed by before the captain pulled the boat up through an islet and tied it off at the end of a dock.

  I stepped off the ferry onto the dock. This was a small fishing village and it appeared deserted. Either all the residents were out in their boats or something really nasty had happened here. Seeing as there were plenty of boats here, I suspected the latter. I saw no more than a dozen residences along the shore. They seemed to be well cared for, but currently vacant. There should have been at least one person to greet new arrivals. The captain of the boat must have sensed something was wrong too.

  He asked, "Are you sure you want me to leave you here? We can bring you somewhere else; anywhere else. This place just feels bad to me."

  "Sure, I can take care of myself!" I thought about the way I had said that and realised it was too abrasive for the situation. I looked back at the captain and smiled to defuse the words. "Thank you for the concern, but this is where I need to be."

  I was feeling that anywhere was better than back on that boat. I gave the captain a mock salute, picked up my case, and walked down the dock. I didn't see any people, pets, or farm animals; just a bunch of gulls looking for food.

  I called out. "Hello! Is anyone around?"

  Have they all gone on holiday? That wouldn't make sense for a whole village to leave at the same time. Are they all at church? Not on a Tuesday afternoon. I found the door to the pub unlocked. There was no-one in it, so I went through the storeroom and put what I deemed useful in a convenient cloth sack. I will have something to snack on when my carriage arrived. The bread looked a few days old, but was still edible. I left what I figured everything was worth in case the owner ever returned.

  My ride to the tournament was supposed to be waiting for me. Perhaps the village was empty when it arrived and the driver left quickly. I waited impatiently for another hour in case the carriage was detained. Since nothing arrived, I had no choice but to set off down the road on foot. My father always stressed the value of good walking boots over stylish shoes. I was glad that was one of times I had listened to his advice.

  After a few hours I stopped and rested. If I had known I would be walking, I would have packed less. The portmanteau in one hand, the bag in the other, and my rifle slung over my shoulder were getting to be too much. I would welcome any kind of pack animal or wheeled vehicle to lighten my load. Once events had occurred as planned, I would have had one. I also would already be at a hotel taking a hot bath.

  I was getting indecisive. The thoughts were racing through my head. I was reflecting on the things I had done today. Perhaps I should have waited in the village. There could be someone at their home now. Once the villagers came back, they might not take kindly to me taking without asking, even though I did pay for it. My ride could be waiting for me. However, the carriage would have had to go past me to get to the village since this was the only road. A couple slices of soda bread and some lemonade helped to improve my mood. I felt like singing too.

  Oh where have you been Billy boy, Billy boy,

  Oh, where have you been, charming Billy?

  I have been to seek a wife,

  She's the joy of my life.

  She's a young thing and cannot leave her mother.[i]

  It was too bad my friend, Bevin, wasn't with me to play her concertina. People said that we sounded good together. I would have enjoyed someone to talk with as well.

  It was getting dark when I discovered that I had lost track of time and had just been walking, almost without thinking about it. Now I needed to be more concerned about somewhere to spend the night. I wondered if everyone had been taken by something that only comes out at night. I had passed many farmhouses and barns today and not seen any sign that they were occupied.

  There was a light off to my left in the distance. It wasn't the yellowish colour of gaslights, but a bright blue-white glow. The road was going away from it, but that didn't matter to me. I hoped there was someone who could tell me where everyone else had gone. Hopefully not someone responsible for their absence. With that thought, I unslung my rifle, grabbed a handful of cartridges, and loaded one.

  I headed directly towards the light through a sparsely wooded area. I reached a clearing, undoubtedly cleared by a farmer whose barn was in sight about 200 yards away. Somewhere inside was where the light originated. I could barely hear voices coming from it. It was some kind of argument from what I could tell. I wondered what I should do. I could give a shout and once they greeted me in return, I could tell that they were friendly. I could get closer and see what they were doing. Or I could wait here for them to do or say something that would let me know their intentions. The last one seemed best so I sat down on my portmanteau to wait.

  "I talk in the English speech because it annoys the section leader."

  "Their voices are so annoying to hear unlike our beautiful speech."

  "It also frightens the earthlings when we talk about our plans for them. I love to see them in pain."

  "Can you help me process the ones in the back?"

  "Have your steam-powered servant do it. Is that not why you built it?"

  "It will not perform. First it will not kill, and then it will not destroy dwellings. Now it will not round up stray earthlings."

  "Why do you keep it?"

  "I am disconnecting it piece by piece. I like to see it suffer, just like them."

  "High quality parts are difficult to bring here. Melt down whatever you took from them and start over."

  I was unsure who was talking or what they meant, however I did understand they were not friendly. I moved quietly along the edge of the woods until I had a view straight through the barn doors. I hoped I would remain unseen in the dark due to their eyes being used to the bright light inside. They had three legs and four arms. Their arms had three joints that could be called elbows on each one. Sometimes, they would put one arm on the ground and bring a leg up to perform a task. Their heads were shaped like eggs with the widest part at the bottom. I found their forms repulsive and it sickened me.

  Those things mentioned they were processing earthlings. What did that mean? I guessed earthlings meant people. Or did it mean people and farm animals? They couldn't process everyone in the town at one time and keep them all in one barn. How long could I stay here out of sight before they noticed me? I could just continue on and look for someplace else to spend the night. Would they find me later and process me? I had so many questions and no answers.

  "Something is outside in the clearing."

  "Is it natural?"

  "No, it is too big."

  "I will deal with it."

  "Must I remind you to leave nothing for the earthlings to find."

  "I know."

  How did they know I was here? I wasn't making any noise. And now one was coming out. It was clear that it was not to invite me in for tea. Would it do me any good to hide? I backed up to hide behind the nearest tree as quietly as I could.

  The being came out of the barn. It had lamps in two of its hands and pistols in the other two. It walked directly towards me.

  It said, "It is no use hiding. We know where you are."

  I brought my rifle up to my shoulder and sighted on the creature. The bright light behind it made that a challenge. "I mean you no harm, but I will shoot if you come any further," I responded.

  It replied, "If you be quiet and come with me, I will not have to hurt you... much."

  It continued towards me, dodging to the left and right faster than a person could. I guessed the extra leg gave it an advantage. I didn't know if it understood me as what it said was not a reply to m
e, but I tried again. "Keep away from me!" I shouted. "This is your last warning."

  "I cannot let you get away. You must be processed."

  It dodged to its right, then back to the left, trying to draw my aim. I hadn't the time to adjust, so it had just moved back into my sights. I fired a warning shot, aiming to its left. Suddenly, it dodged that way. It must have been hit since it dropped to the ground. I could see the other one in the barn. It was panicking; running around in circles with all four arms waving about. I dropped it to the ground with my next shot.

  I cautiously approached the barn to see if the beings were dead or just waiting for me. Their heads not only resembled eggs, but must have been as fragile. A close look showed that they had exploded when the bullets hit them. That was too close of a look as the smell was overpowering and I lost what little I had eaten.

  I looked around the barn for the people. There was no-one in it except for those strange creatures. Not even any farm animals. I couldn't help but wonder what these creatures had done with them. These things said there were people to be processed, whatever that meant. Where were they now? It had been just a few minutes. How could they have disappeared so quickly? People just don't do that. I would have noticed once they had walked out of the barn. The other doors were closed and I would have noticed them opening. It was puzzling and I was not good at solving puzzles.

  It was amazing what they had done inside the barn. It looked like a laboratory. I saw free-standing panels with switches, dials, and meters on them. On one wall was a giant ring of brass embedded in a wooden frame. It was connected by thick cables to a table covered with more dials and switches. Next to that was a shelf of parts, most of which I couldn't recognise. It seemed safest to leave all of this just the way it was.

  I figured I could find a safe spot to hide in the farmhouse, spend the night, and then sneak out again at sunrise. As I turned to go, I noticed a steam boiler resting beside the barn door with what could only be legs and arms. From the feet to the top of its smokestack it had to be ten feet high. There was a long box on its chest with words on it.